Nickname: The Closer, The COOLympian, The Greek God of COOL, The MAIN EVENT
First Name: Cancer
Last Name: Jiles
Date of Birth: 04/20/1987
Hometown: Philadelphia, PA
Jiles has done a lot of things in the sport of wrestling. He’s been around it for the better part of 15 years. In all of that time the one thing he is on the record as being most proud of is carrying Bobby Dean and Doozer to stardom and unimaginable heights while playing the role of sole and righteous leader of the world renowned eGG Bandits.
Jiles is a cheat. ALWAYS, constantly, and even when he doesn’t have to be. Like Voldemort he is able to summon a cowardice spell at a moment’s notice. In fact, he’s played the part of possum so often that when possums play possum it is now called Jilesing. Opponents’ eyes, privates, nipples, knees, and any other weakness are fair game. For being such a notorious cheat he’s not really a weapons guy. He can swing a chair, but outside of that he’s no specialist.
Jiles has the survivability of a cockroach vacationing during Nuclear Winter. He has been, can, and will be on the receiving end of some of the most legendary ass kickings the sport has ever seen. Pillar to post. Slaughtered. Seemed to have been murdered. Dragged. Tarred. Feathered. Buried. BURIED. REALLY FUCKING BURIED. Yet, he persists.
Jiles carries grudges. All kinds. Meaningless. Petty. Stupid. Simple. SALTY. Complex. Hate fueled. You name it, he carries it. Step on his shoes and there’s a good chance you’ll become his enemy. Slander his name and the surf is up, bro.
Jiles’ hair, the golden blond oil slick that it is, is impervious to detriment. Try to mess it up at your own peril.
Jiles’ shades, Terminator Skullfucker Hunters (T-shades), are jet black frames with a mirror tint to the lenses. Don’t touch them. Don’t think about them. Don’t even dream about them. Day, REM, wet… whatever. The precious heirloom covers half of his always clean kempt face when worn, and he wears them all. of. the. time. To be clear, he doesn’t wear them while competing inside the ring, but everywhere else, yes. Be it at night, to bed, in the movie theater, in the shower, while skydiving, or playing blackjack.
Jiles doesn’t like fruit.
Jiles is the self proclaimed Greek God of COOL, and claims to be the only mortal to have ever ascended the summit of COOLYMPUS.
Theme Music: "I Am The Cool" by Screaming Jay Hawkins
Setup Move COOLYMPIAN YOLJKYellow muta mist
Finishing Move: Terminal CancerSuperkick
Common Moves: Low Blow, Eye Rake, Back Rake, Toe/Finger Stomp, Open Hand Slap, Knife Edge Chop, German Suplex, Shin Kicks, Fish Hook, Swinging Neck Breaker, Closed Fists, Possum
Trademark Moves: Missile Dropkick, Picture Perfect Knee Clip, DDT, Superplex
My shit is custom.