Nickname: The Sage on the Stage, The Pedagogue of Pain, The Philosopher King, The Warrior Poet, The Socrates of Slam
First Name: Ned
Last Name: Reform
Date of Birth: 02/09/1992
Hometown: Litchfield, Connecticut
Weight: 227 lbs
Ned Reform - excuse me, that’s DOCTOR Ned Reform, is a highly intelligent, cultured, and gracious man. Rarely do men of Reform’s intellectual pedigree debase themselves by entering the knuckle-dragging intellectual blackhole that is professional wrestling, but Dr. Reform is of a different breed: he believes that he can change the culture, elevate the discourse, and raise pro-wrestling out of the gutter and transform it into the highly respected art form that it should be. While the fans should feel gracious that he is able to find time in his busy schedule of teaching courses at Yale, publishing his swaths of important research in peer reviewed journals, and entertaining offers to keynote speak at conferences to step into the squared circle - they rarely ARE appreciative. No matter - that is the burden one suffers for being a hero among men. Someday, Reform will have the breakthrough he’s always sought, and then the fans - and YOU, dear reader, will understand exactly who he is.
Theme Music: "Fur Elise" by Cole Rolland
Finishing Move: The Ad HominemCrossface Chickenwing
1. The Syllabuster ()
2. The Thesis Statement (Top Rope Guillotine Leg Drop)
3. "The Thinking Man's Elbow Drop" - Reform makes a big show of doing the ol' "I'm so smart look at me point to my big brain" taunt before dropping an elbow into the heart.
4. "The Thinking Man's Uppercut" - that stop, drop, uppercut move that Cody Rhodes and Goldust do. Always followed by pointing to his big brain and smirking
10 Common Holds/Maneuvers 1. Abdominal Stretch (rope assisted)
2. German Suplex
3. Standing headscissors into a swinging knee strike
4. Dropkick to knee
5. Spinning heel kick
6. Double knee lift
7. Rope assisted schoolboy
8. Delayed neckbreaker
9. Arm breaker
10. Seated senton to force an opponent to the mat or to an opponent's leg draped over the bottom rope
11. Snapmare into a surfboard
12. Diving elbow drop
13. Stands on the shoulder of an opponent draped over the middle rope, choking them in the process
14. Hair Pull Hangman to the outside
15. Missile Drop Kick (top rope)
16. Leaping stomp to hand
17. Overhead arm wrench throw
18. Arm wrench breaker
19. Knee drops to arm
20. Arm wrench into turnbuckle
The very familiar opening chords of Beethoven’s “Fur Elise” echo throughout the arena as the lights take on a purple hue and the fans begin to jeer in earnest.
The piano transitions into a rock version of the classic - a modern rock version by Cole Rolland - as the man himself, Ned Reform, appears through the curtain. He’s dressed for action: purple and white singlet, white boots, and arrogant smirk. One hand is tucked behind his back as he scans the people, completely no-selling the rude gestures and boos. Behind Reform lurks his muscle, the uber athletic and no-nonsense TA Cole.
Reform begins to walk to the ring, waving and smiling to his “adoring” fans.
He hops onto the ring apron, gives his feet a good wipe or two, and then steps through the ropes and into the ring. He makes his way to the turnbuckle, bracing his hands on the top rope and leaning back to test its integrity. While he’s doing this, he catches sight of the hard cam and gives it a little wink before the music fades out.